


candles & wishes

by harrow



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Birthdays, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28057404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrow/pseuds/harrow
Summary: Dean turned to Cas speculatively. “Do you have a birthday?”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 80





	candles & wishes

It was dark, and past midnight, and Dean was nearly falling asleep where he was half-lying on the couch. On the television screen in front of them, bright, colorful candles were flickering on top of a birthday cake, and adults and children crowded around as it was placed in front of the main kid, a ten year old, who was wearing one of those classic pointy birthday party hats and looking pleased as the other people in the scene started singing.

On the other end of the couch, Cas was leaning forward, watching the movie with rapt attention. The room was dark, but the television screen was giving Cas’ face a multicolor glow, and his eyes had that laser-focus that he seemed to apply to everything, even something as mundane as a Lifetime movie special, like it was currently the single most important thing in the universe. There was a warm feeling in Dean’s chest, watching him take in a kid’s birthday party like it was something he had never had the privilege of seeing before.

But then Cas turned to look at him, and Dean had to jerk his head towards the screen and hope it wasn’t obvious that he had been staring. “Dean,” Cas said with a question in his voice, “do most people celebrate the day of their birth like this?”

That took Dean by surprise. “Uh, yeah. Pretty much everyone does.”

Cas squinted at him. “You don’t celebrate yours.”

“What? Sure I do.” Dean racked his brain, trying to come up with an example, and came to the unsettling conclusion that he couldn’t remember ever marking his birthday since knowing Cas. He frowned. “Maybe not recently. I mean, not _everyone_ does,” he added.

“And you don’t like celebrating yours.” Cas looked at him with one of those eerie expressions of his, like he was x-raying Dean all the way through. Dean shifted uncomfortably.

“Didn’t say that. Just, we don’t always have the time for it. And it’s not like it’s that important. It’s mostly something that kids like doing, anyway,” he said, waving towards the screen, and he hoped Cas would drop it. He didn’t want to get into the fact that he had never really celebrated his birthday as a kid either.

Luckily, Cas just said, “I see,” in a thoughtful voice, and turned back to the movie.

But then Dean turned out to be the one who couldn’t let it go. Because a stray thought had occurred to him, and it stuck, gaining momentum. He kept silent for a few minutes, watching the scene on screen shift to some school event or another, and then he couldn’t keep it in any more.

He turned to Cas speculatively. “Do you have a birthday?”

Cas tore his gaze away from the screen, surprised, then turned thoughtful. “I don’t suppose I do,” he said. “I wasn’t born, per se, at least not in the manner of a human. To attempt to give the time of my creation a concrete analog in current space-time, let alone in the Gregorian calendar, seems arrogant at best.” He tapped a finger on his chin. “It would be more accurate to say that I have always existed than that there was a specific day on which my creation occurred, though neither are precisely true.”

“Hmm,” said Dean, nodding, like that was a totally reasonable answer. As it had given Dean several new ideas, it was good enough by him. He quirked a grin at Cas. “Do you want a birthday?”

Cas blinked at him. “I don’t have one, as I’ve just explained.”

Dean grinned wider. “Yeah, but do you _want_ one?” He spread his arms out languorously across the back of the couch. “Come on, look deep down in that angel heart of yours and tell me you don’t want a whole day where everyone’s attention is on you and you get whatever you want.”

Cas looked off into the distance, like he was trying to imagine it. “I suppose that would be nice,” he conceded, a little sadly. “But like I said…”

“So we’ll give you one,” Dean said. “Pick a date, whatever you want, and that’ll be your birthday.”

Cas frowned, looking like he was about to argue, so Dean interrupted him.

“Forget about that ‘my heavenly creation means I can’t have a birthday’ crap, dude,” he said, pointing emphatically. “You want a birthday, you can have one, okay? You don’t need to overthink it. We’ll even get you one of those little hats.”

Cas huffed, looking down at his lap, and picked at the seam of his sweatpants for a second before looking up again. His cheeks were looking just a little pink. “I’d like that,” he said.

“Good,” Dean said, meaning it. There was a pool of satisfaction warming in his chest. “So go on, pick a date.”

Cas licked his lips, still looking a little surprised and touched. “How about… September 18th?” he said.

Dean had been all ready to dole out enthusiastic approval of Cas’ new birthday, but now his mouth just opened stupidly and got stuck there. “September 18th?” he repeated.

“Yes,” Cas said. He tilted his head in that bird-like way again, brows furrowing. “Is that a problem?”

“No, I just…” Dean opened and closed his mouth a few times, uncertain. Maybe Dean was overthinking it, assuming everything had to be about himself. But at the same time, there was a tightness in his throat over the idea that the reason for the date was exactly what he thought it was. “Just, uh, why September 18th?”

Cas frowned, like Dean had disappointed him. “I think you know why, Dean,” he said. “It’s the day I finally succeeded in pulling you out of Hell.”

Christ. It was what he thought. That feeling in his throat twisted, and suddenly there was a burning feeling growing somewhere behind his eyes. He rubbed his fingers against them, shaking his head. “You can’t,” he said, finally.

Cas’ face turned serious, challenging, the stubborn bastard. “And why not?”

“You…” Dean struggled to put it into words. He crossed his arms tightly across his chest. “Look, your birthday is supposed to be the day that’s all about you, man. It’s like your own very important day. You sure you wanna pick a date that’s half about me?”

Cas leaned towards him. “Dean,” he said, “there’s no other day I want.”

Dean shook his head, feeling a little like he was spinning. “There’s gotta be…”

“There isn’t,” Cas said firmly. “That’s the only day that has special meaning to me. And it is special. Dean, surely you must know this, but that day marked the beginning of the most important things to happen to me in my long existence. It was the beginning of my awareness, of my doubt, of my free will. Of knowing you. If I’m to pick a day worth celebrating, there’s no other day I want. And it’s my choice, isn’t it?”

Dean wasn’t even sure he could get the words out. Far be it for Dean to be the one to deny Cas his hard-won free will. “Yeah, Cas,” he admitted. “It is.”

Cas’ lips curved into a small smile, and with one look Dean knew he was always going to give Cas whatever date he wanted. “Then my birthday is September the 18th.”

“Alright,” Dean gave in, and he returned Cas’ small smile. “Okay. It is.”


End file.
